Life with out you

Life with out you

Tears roll down my face, as I look at you and your girl friend
I see how happy you are together, smiling and laughing
What a wonderful couple you make
I walk to my lonely room, turning on sad music
Picking up a razor
Without you I’m nothing, without you my life is meaningless
So I carve deep into my wrist, feeling every little piercing cut
Screaming from the pain, and bleeding from the veins
I lay back on my bed, watching the blood drain
Knowing you don’t feel any pain nor guilt for what you’ve done to me
Slowly, I pass away, with my last thoughts being of you
I know you will never know how much I love you
And just how much I miss you
_________________

A Lesson

A Lesson

I've learned a lot of lessons
In the short time I have lived
I've learned how to appreciate
And I've learned how to give.

But in these past few months
There's two I'll remember most
I've learned how to love
And I've learned to let go.

You entered my life with such a force
And left it with one as strong
And though we tried to make it last
We both knew it wouldn't be long.

I lie at night and think about
How I'm the one to blame.
If only I would have trusted you,
I could have missed this pain.

And so I spent each day of my life
With my heart in pieces
And when I thought it could never be cured,
Something happened; I expected it least.

I guess my soul was all cried out,
And it was tired of being used.
And even though I know I'm guilty,
I was tired of being accused.

And so I've learned to end this
Without an urge to cry
These are my final words to you,
"I love you and
goodbye MY LOVE."
_________________

Painful Love

Painful Love

Watching you from across the room
sends searing pain through my heart.
I think back to a year ago,
when I thought we'd never part.
My love for you just won't die down -
it just grows with each new day.
I wish you'd dare to look at me
and hear what I have to say;
"I love you and I want you back - "
but these words you just won't hear.
You don't seem to remember them -
all the memories I hold dear.
You were my first kiss, my first love
and now you don't even care.
How could you just blow it away?
We were the perfect pair.
you seem content to let me go -
You're doing fine as you are,
while I'm still missing how we were.
We had the best love by far.
_________________

That Feeling of Forever

That Feeling Of Forever.

I want that feeling.
you know?
That feeling of forever.
So simple,
Yet combined with everything
Love, Lust, Happiness, Sadness
Everything.
But still,
I want that feeling.
you know?
That feeling of forever.

This I write while having a thought

This I write while having a thought
during a time when we have fought
in a moment of time my mind is caught
to figure why this peril has been brought

People come, people go
but you never really have enough and more
though the bonds you grow
will have their own high and the low

Guess this is one of those highs
where the limits are beyond the skies
its value cannot have a price,
for friendship is not a game of dice

Sometimes I get high on careless dreams
that’s when you hear these selfish screams
making this bond of a concrete beam
tender and soft like whipped cream

Forgive me I ask you again
knowing I might have caused you pain
let me correct myself and try to be sane
keep away and from pleasantries I’ll refrain

The space you need is all yours
the life you want is set on its course
just like how ink follows paper from its source
i’ll stand by your life like codes of morse...

_________________

Love

Love

Soft and warm
Sealed with care
Sweet and kind
Will ever share
Brave and strong
Yet so fair
That is her
She's always there

Sensitive
to despair
Harkens to
others welfare
Delicate
she's elsewhere
Beautiful
beyond compare

If you meet her
Best Beware
She'll steal your heart
unaware
Her name is Love
This I swear
There's none like her
anywhere...

_________________

Winter Sun

Winter Sun

How valuable it is in these short days,
threading through empty maple branches,
the lacy-needled sugar pines.

Its glint off sheets of ice tells the story
of Death’s brightness, her bitter cold.

We can make do with so little, just the hint
of warmth, the slanted light.

The way we stand there, soaking in it,
mittened fingers reaching.

And how carefully we gather what we can
to offer later, in darkness, one body to another.

_________________

My Shadow

My Shadow

I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,
And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.
He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head;
And I see him jump before me, when I jump into my bed.

The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow—
Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;
For he sometimes shoots up taller like an india-rubber ball,
And he sometimes gets so little that there's none of him at all.

He hasn't got a notion of how children ought to play,
And can only make a fool of me in every sort of way.
He stays so close beside me, he's a coward you can see;
I'd think shame to stick to nursie as that shadow sticks to me!

One morning, very early, before the sun was up,
I rose and found the shining dew on every buttercup;
But my lazy little shadow, like an errant sleepy-head,
Had stayed at home behind me and was fast asleep in bed.

_________________

The temple of love is not love itself

The temple of love is not love itself;
True love is the treasure,
Not the walls about it.
Do not admire the decoration,
But involve yourself in the essence,
The perfume that invades and touches you-
The beginning and the end.
Discovered, this replace all else,
The apparent and the unknowable.
Time and space are slaves to this presence.

Always remember to forget

Always remember to forget
The things that made you sad
But never forget to remember
The things that made you glad.


Always remember to forget
The friends that proved untrue.
But don't forget to remember
Those that have stuck by you.

Always remember to forget
The troubles that have passed away.
But never forget to remember
The blessings that come each day

_________________

Let go of your worries

Let go of your worries
and be completely clear-hearted,
like the face of a mirror
that contains no images.
If you want a clear mirror,
behold yourself
and see the shameless truth,
which the mirror reflects.
If metal can be polished
to a mirror-like finish,
what polishing might the mirror
of the heart require?
Between the mirror and the heart
is this single difference:
the heart conceals secrets,
while the mirror does not.

_________________

Only you

Only you
I choose among the entire world.
Is it fair of you
letting me be unhappy?


My heart is a pen in your hand.
It is all up to you
to write me happy or sad.

I see only what you reveal
and live as you say.
All my feelings have the color
you desire to paint.

From the beginning to the end,
no one but you.

Please make my future
better than the past.

When you hide I change
to a Godless person,
and when you appear,
I find my faith.

Don't expect to find
any more in me
than what you give.

Don't search for
hidden pockets because
I've shown you that
all I have is all you gave.

I do not hate the world

I do not hate the world,
Not because I do not know
How to hate,
But because God does not want me
To hate.
I love the world,
Not because I know how to love,
But because God,
Out of His boundless Bounty,
Loves the world
In me, through me and for me.

I'm broken deep inside

I'm broken deep inside.
I can't take much more.
You lie about everything.
I hate you to the core.

At once I felt your love,
But it turns out a lie.
I've lost all your trust,
So leave now and go die.

You tricked me so easily,
I couldn't believe it.
You were just so clever,
It's hard to admit.

Now that you're leaving,
I do feel some guilt,
But my anger never faded.
My heart started to wilt.

Two emotions kill my life.
I blame you for it all,
But why do I keep it up,
After all my tears fall?

_________________

There are times

There are times
when I feel your presence
at my side

There are times
when I hear you say
it will be alright

There are times
when I see
your face in a crowd
and I turn around

There are times
when I miss you
and my heart begins to ache
and I smile through the pain

But then there are times
when I realize
this is just the way
it has to be
there’s no you and me

There are times when
I feel strong
and I know that I
can finally move on

There are times when
my mind is at ease
and I can enjoy life
and all it can bring

There are times when
I miss you
and times when I’m okay
it’s getting better everyday

No matter how much time
there is in this life
I’ll think of you
from time to time
and remember you with a smile.

My heart is sunk and moist is eye

My heart is sunk and moist is eye,
As nothing is more painful than the last good-bye.
These two words would change my life forever,
As a life without you, I thought never.

Remember that time together we spent,
Like a wind of joy that came and went.
Now we stand at the road’s end,
To choose our path and our lives to mend.

I hope that God will make up for this loss,
And maybe in future our roads will cross.
Till then I thank you for the moments we shared,
And for me, so much, you loved and cared.

Good-Bye to you, oh my soul beloved,
To the good old relationship that we both served.

At first remember how you promised?

At first, remember how you promised?
It would be soft and tender,
A loving feeling to remember.

But, instead . . .

You made me feel like a --
My body laid out in front of your eyes to adore.
And I wondered how this could be,
We were finally together, you and me.

I was only a piece of flesh,
No loving thing,
And that was the night this angel was stripped of her wings.

You hurt me, caused pain
And what was I to gain?
This tiny life that is inside,
When I found out I could have died.

Something that once had the chance to be so sweet,
Turned out to be nothing to you but a piece of meat.
The pain I felt,
My heart you made melt.

This pain can never be recovered,
Because I will always have a reminder of my first lover.
Something he will not see for a while.
He does not know that we made a child.

_________________

Life in a love

Life in a love.

Escape me?
Never
Beloved!
While I am I, and you are you,
So long as the world contains us both,
Me the loving and you the loth,
While the one eludes, must the other pursue.
My life is a fault at last, I fear:
It seems too much like a fate, indeed!
Though I do my best I shall scarce succeed.
But what if I fail of my purpose here?
It is but to keep the nerves at strain,
To dry one's eyes and laugh at a fall,
And baffled, get up to begin again,
So the chase takes up one's life, that's all.
While, look but once from your farthest bound,
At me so deep in the dust and dark,
No sooner the old hope drops to ground
Than a new one, straight to the selfsame mark,
I shape me
Ever
Removed!

_________________

I silently keep missing you when the nights are long my love

I silently keep missing you when the nights are long my love..

Everyday i keep thinking of you my love..
With every beat of the heart your face comes in front of my eyes my love..
With every breath that goes in I feel as if your within me my love..
With every wink of the eye i believe you r looking at me my love..
When am standing out looking at the sky i feel that u r watching me form there my love..
I know this soul yearns for ur love my love..
you don't even know what I go through when u ain't round my love..
When would u open up to me n give me all your love my love..
Believe me when i say I want u in my life my love..
If for once u could tel me what you r feeling my love..
Who knows we could get his blessings from above my love..
Cry for me only if u feel that i deserve ur tears my love..
Miss me only if u can't bear that distance like me my love..
i'am tired of expressing myself through words my love..
I look forword to that day when u would realize that intensity of my love for you my love..
Every moment with you is still fresh in my heart my love..
these eyes are still waiting to see you my love..
If you could make out the pain out of which i've written this my love..
You would count the number of times I've mentioned your name my love.
Don't get confused trying to search ur name my love..
You were and will always remain ....MY LOVE....

Life tends to be harder

Life tends to be harder
When expectations reach farther
And everything brings me down
When you aren’t around
Smiles seem to fade faster
When your gone away
And nobody’s eyes shine just quite the same
Love is a word I could use to describe
How I look at no one else when they pass me by
Coversations are duller
Seem pointless and bland
When your not right beside me holding my hand
Im not funny today
No one is laughing
As the sun sneaks away
Like nothing has happened
And I close my eyes
Try to fall asleep faster
Hoping tomorrow
Is a less painful disaster

_________________

The Joke's On Me

The Joke's On Me

I keep waiting for the phone to ring
Yet I know it won't be you;
I try to fill my life with busyness
Yet all I do is think of you.

What became of us
And all our dreams and plans;
How could you turn and walk away
As I watched our castles turn to sand?

Do you never even miss me
Don't you long to caress my face;
How could you forget so easily
And You I can't erase?

I want to be in your arms again
To see the laughter in your eyes;
But I guess the joke's on me
And Oh! Was I surprised ! ! !

_________________

The Lie

The Lie

Woke up this morning
Trying hard to hide my melancholy
I joined you for breakfast
And we continued our lie

Every day it is similar
You are cheery
And so am I
Our terrible lie

Can you imagine a time
When we awoke and did not speak
Realizing our moods would cause tension
Tension caused by too little life?

I do wish sometimes
As I leave for work sullenly
Dreading the day already
Weeping far within

The lie, terrible and unending
Would cease to be
And I would know the real you
And you the real me

But, the lie drags on for now
For it is not written in the stars
And perhaps it will never be
I am my own companion

The dreaded truth
Gathered in a lifetime
Sentenced for an eternity
Realized too late

_________________

Lost

Lost

Confusion
Anxiety
Anger and
Pain
Despair
Hatred
Isn't it all the same?

Turmoil
Anguish
Pity and Revenge
Spurn
Condemn
When is it going to end?

Loneliness
Heart ache
Must I be disturbed?
Desolate
Forlorn
Will I always be alone?

_________________

These smooth tones

These smooth tones
are filling the room,
trying to damp this
dull ambiance and
coloring it.

Now I have to accompany
myself on the piano,
playing your composition.
I surrender as the melody
fills with spirit, you were
my white hope.

It's drizzling slightly,
maybe you are crying
with me.

For once I do not sing
because
there are no words
that would be worthy
to sufficiently glorify you.

Besides
I just want you to
devote yourself to
these feelings of yours.

A familiar breeze
enfolds me, caressing
your favorite beauty spot,
I feel secure and titillate
because of your presence.

Holding on to your
photograph, I thank you
for this experience as
the wind carries a
forget-me-not
through the window.

With the end
of this composition
I bid my final farewell.

_________________

Darkness

Darkness

If only it were so simple,
to cruise through life smelling roses;
but the obstacles blacken the countryside,
and we unwittingly crush them beneath our boots.

Dreams sustain us through the madness;
goals give a finish line to our race.
Yet they change with every turn, around every wall,
and remain elusive throughout the quest.

Mistakes are made, and regrets are our luggage;
we will drag them with us to slow us down.
The victories are flashes of light, sudden and unlasting, which allow us
to glimpse the road ahead before darkness descends.

Love is bitter, yet it is the bread that keeps us.
Over and over it fills us up, only to starve us.
The people whom we love shape our destinies and our strengths,
yet leave us cold and alone in the darkness.

There are others trying to race to the end;
occasionally, we bump into one or two.
The bonds we form help us down the path less lonely
but eventually, we lose each other in the darkness.

Alone is not a bad way to be;
it clears your head and focuses you on the journey.
Cherish the short intervals during the quest you have with others,
but be prepared to walk alone in the darkness.

_________________

The day i died inside

The day i died inside ...

The silent car ride,
The tearful eyes
The day I finally died inside.

The blood soaked wrist
And the glistening knife
Were the things that
Should have ended my life.

They rushed me off
To the hospital that night
A place for people
Who lived in fright

The horrific white walls
The tensions cold air
The children crying out
In their pain and wear

The dark room
My roommate and I kept
Was the one that haunted me
Every night when I slept.

The blood that was drawn
I still painfully lack
It haunts me these days
To ever look back.

Ten therapy sessions
Each day and night
So overwhelming
I wanted to fight.

The bolted windows
The locked doors
The imprisoned children
In the psychiatric ward

Letters from loved ones
Saying I love you so much
Them saying they need me
And miss me and such

I open the closet
In the bedroom
So plain
The door filled with
Carvings and drawings
And names

A phrase carved into
That old wooden door
It read Kelly died here
And I could not ignore

To this day I wonder
If that Kelly is alright
If she has fun with friends
Or has sleepless nights

I remember that day
With the glistening knife
The blood soaked wrist
And the horrible life

I still walk on
With my head held high
As I think of the
Day I died inside

_________________

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose or topaz

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

that this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
_________________

He Wishes For The Cloths Of Heaven

He Wishes For The Cloths Of Heaven

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams

i'm not yours

i'm not yours

I am not yours, not lost in you,
Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.

You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who long to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.

Oh plunge me deep in love -- put out
My senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.
_________________

Tourtures

Tourtures

Nothing has changed.
The body is susceptible to pain,
it must eat and breathe air and sleep,
it has thin skin and blood right underneath,
an adequate stock of teeth and nails,
its bones are breakable, its joints are stretchable.
In tortures all this is taken into account.

Nothing has changed.
The body shudders as it shuddered
before the founding of Rome and after,
in the twentieth century before and after Christ.
Tortures are as they were, it's just the earth that's grown smaller,
and whatever happens seems right on the other side of the wall.

Nothing has changed. It's just that there are more people,
besides the old offenses new ones have appeared,
real, imaginary, temporary, and none,
but the howl with which the body responds to them,
was, is and ever will be a howl of innocence
according to the time-honored scale and tonality.

Nothing has changed. Maybe just the manners, ceremonies, dances.
Yet the movement of the hands in protecting the head is the same.
The body writhes, jerks and tries to pull away,
its legs give out, it falls, the knees fly up,
it turns blue, swells, salivates and bleeds.

Nothing has changed. Except for the course of boundaries,
the line of forests, coasts, deserts and glaciers.
Amid these landscapes traipses the soul,
disappears, comes back, draws nearer, moves away,
alien to itself, elusive, at times certain, at others uncertain of its own existence,
while the body is and is and is
and has no place of its own.
_________________

A dream within the dream

A dream within the dream

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow--
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

_________________

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

_________________

I want you to know one thing

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine

_________________

When we two parted In silence and tears

When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted,
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning
Sank chill on my brow
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame:
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o'er me
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well:
Long, long shall I rue thee
Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met
In silence I grieve
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?
With silence and tears.

When we two are parted

_________________

Long-felt desires

Long-felt desires

Long-felt desires, hopes as long as vain--
sad sighs--slow tears accustomed to run sad
into as many rivers as two eyes could add,
pouring like fountains, endless as the rain--
cruelty beyond humanity, a pain
so hard it makes compassionate stars go mad
with pity: these are the first passions I've had.
Do you think love could root in my soul again?
If it arched the great bow back again at me,
licked me again with fire, and stabbed me deep
with the violent worst, as awful as before,
the wounds that cut me everwhere would keep
me shielded, so there would be no place free
for love. It covers me. It can pierce no more.

It Isn't There

It Isn't There

I just don't know what to do
Why am I still inlove with you?
I know you don't love me
And that's the way it should be
She loves you, and you love her
Funny to think that's the way we were
So much love used to be there
Then, somehow, it vanished into thin air

How can I get over you?
Then love other people too
I hurt so much
Just knowing we're so out of touch
It hurts to know you don't care for me
And it can't be the way it used to be
I want you back
But she has all the qualities you love and I lack
I hope you two are happy together
Since it can't be us....
Together Forever

_________________

Quiet Emotions

Quiet Emotions

I always wanted more from you
than you were willing to give;
So now we've gone our separate ways
each with different lives to live.

The bond will always be there
the friendship always intact;
But the time for us has come and gone
and the pages of time, you can't turn back.

I will always be a friend to you
and wonder how you are;
The smiles and laughter I will remember
and our fights have become painless scars.

Sometimes on those busy days
when you've a thousand things to do;
Please let me glide slowly through your mind
and spend some time with you.

In that quiet moment
when you're surprised to find me there;
Just remember even with the distance between us
I am still someone who cares.



_________________

Goodbye

Goodbye

Well maybe now I should just say goodbye
You used to be my friend
But I never felt I really was yours
So maybe this is the end.
I'm different from you, all of you
Each other we've never understood
I hope that if I do tell you goodbye
That it won't be for good.
Whenever I'm mad it hurts me so bad
And you don't even care
I don't know why, I just want to cry
And someday I won't be there.
The streaks on my arm they've done me no harm
They're only made of pen
But once they are blood that turns brown like mud
They'll be there again and again.
If I'm mad at you I'll hurt myself too
But that doesn't really matter
Although when I hurt I feel like dirt
And my spirit's bruised and battered.
I do not know why it has to be so
I really wish it did not
But the way this has been going
it is basically shot.
You don't need me and we don't need we
And that's how I think I know why
These words are the ones I have to speak-
I love you, but goodbye



_________________

For Just A Taste Of You

For Just A Taste Of You

I need to take you in my strong arms
let me hold you oh so close and tight
our sighs rising high into the heavens
rocking wrapped up in sweet delight

You know I'll never ever let you go
I yearn to kiss your lush warm lips
till we melt blissful in love's wild fire
in a dance eternal, joined at the hip

I want you to know my heart's pure voice
hear me pour out my feelings for you
to shout them at the boundless sky
so strong, so deep, so clear so true

love's feast calls us to this moment
no reason needed, for what we do
I have a gnawing hunger in my soul
always aching for just a taste of you

_________________

I dream of distant lands of where we can be free

I dream of distant lands of where we can be free
Let us escape from the harshness and disappointments of life
And together create for ourselves a paradise
Whether it be sitting under a mango tree in India
Sitting on a bench in central park
Floating on the river Thames or braving the jungles of deepest darkest Africa
Promise you will go there with me, promise you will go everywhere with me
Fly away with me, help me to touch the stars
We will ponder nature and question why the leaves fall
Like rain after it has gone promises a new beginning
So shall be my promise to you
Let me look at myself through your eyes
Make me understand the ability you possess to see the best in me
Let me call you darling and hold your hand
Share secrets with my soul not even I know
Continue to inspire me with your stories and words
Teach me all you know until I know nothing else
We are from two different worlds you and I
But are souls are the same lost along the way when God was deciding where we should go
Let it be said my heart and mind are not my own and never were
For I had yours and you had mind
To celebrate such a long awaited reunion fills me with bliss
I dream of the day when I can touch your face outside of a dream
When you can read my thoughts through my eyes and see no lies
For now I know true happiness I cannot go back to before
I can not go back to a hopeless and faithless existence
Do not bestow on me such a sentence, I ache at the thought
You make me feel alive, read my words and know it is because of you
Look what you have done look at what you do
Every part of me loves you

_________________

Late-night Talk

Late-night Talk

His name came up
On the caller ID
At exactly
Eleven fory-three.

I answer it
In my cheery fashion
For our late-night talks
Were always my passion.

But his voice told me
That something was wrong
Like a horror movie's
Foreshadowing song.

As he took a deep breath
And told me the phrase
"We need to talk"
I was put in a daze.

"We have a connection
And get along fine
There's nothing you've done
The problem is mine.

"You understand don't you?
Are you still there?"
I tried to answer
As I felt my heart tear.

"We're gonna stay friends,
We'll talk every day.
Sabi, do you have
Anything to say?"

A thousand thoughts were
Ready to spill
But my mouth wouldn't talk
As my eyes began to fill.

Thoughts raced through my head
Old memories played
The thought of being alone
Made me feel so afraid.

"I'm not expecting you
To understand.
You're a sophmore,
Life holds different demands.

"Still one day
When your life is SAT's
College applications
And activities,

"You'll realize why
I made this choice.
Talk to me, Sabi
Do you have a voice?"

I would if I hadn't
Hung up so quick
To comfort myself,
I was feeling quite sick.

So then this is it,
This is the end.
What more can I say then?
I'll miss you my friend.

_________________

Missing You

Missing You

No words I write can ever say,
How much I miss you every day.
As time goes by the loneliness grows,
How I miss you... nobody knows.
I think of you in silence,
I often speak your name.
But all I have are memories,
And a photo in a frame.
No one knows my sorrow,
No one sees me weep.
But the love I have for you,
Is in my heart and mine to keep.
I never stopped loving you,
I don't think I ever will.
Deep inside my heart,
You are with me still.
Heartaches in this world are many,
But mine is worse than any.
My heart still aches as I whisper low,
"I need you... and miss you so."
The things we feel so deeply,
Are often the hardest things to say.
But I just can't keep quiet anymore,
So I'll tell you anyway.
There is a place in my heart,
That no one else can fill.
I love you... and I always will.

_________________

Something’s never change

Something’s never change,
Even when things get old,
There still exist the little things,
the lies and deceit.

Broken hearts and truth never told,
yearning for a kiss and someone to hold,
something’s never change.

Wanting to be your one and only,
At times you left me cold and lonely,
There still exist the little things,
the lies and deceit.

But today is a new day,
Nobody to blame,
Something’s never change.

But starting from tomorrow,
I'll spread a clean sheet over my heart,
There still exist the little things,
the lies and deceit.

I will cry no more,
Beginning my new life and opening another door,
Something’s never change,
There still exist the little things,
the lies and deceit.



_________________

Forget his name, forget his face

Forget his name, forget his face,
Forget his kiss and warm embrace.
Forget the time you spent together.
Forget it all he is gone forever.

Forget the fact that he once cared,
Forget the love that he once shared.
Forget his love that once was true,
Remember now there is someone new.

Forget you cried all night long,
Forget him when they play your song.
Forget how close you once were.
Remember how he chose her.

Forget you memorized the way he walked.
Forget the way that he talked.
Forget the times he made you mad.
Remember how he made you feel so sad.

Forget the thrills when he said, Hi!
Forget the times he made you cry.
Forget the way he said your name.
Remember now he is not the same.

Forget you saw him yesterday.
Forget his gentle and teasing way.
Forget the things you had planned to do.
Remember now he is not with you.

Forget the times that went so fast.
Forget it all it is in the past.
Forget he said, I'll leave you never.
Remember now he is gone forever.

Forget the past that I once knew.
Forget it all leave it too.
Cause he no longer loves me...
..He loves you...

_________________

still remember that brisk and cool day

still remember that brisk and cool day,
that day we met and my fears were driven away.
Your perfect smile, your joyous laugh,
the way your eyes lit up when we talked about the past.
We would sit and talk for hours on end
about our secrets and our future plans.
Our friendship started to grow much more.
It became a feeling so strong we could not ignore.
You told me, it would be for the best, just wait and see.
Fate. You said, has brought you to me.
We believed those words, we thought they were true,
but I guess they weren't because now we are through.
Now your gone and now I see that it was all because of me.
I hurt so many, yet cared so much,
about the wrong person and felt the wrong touch.
I played a game with two hearts,
I thought I was strong, I'd never be torn apart.
I hope you forgive and I hope that you see,
those feelings I have are smothered inside of me.
Someday soon I hope you will find a love that will last you all of time.
You deserve the best in everything you do.
Maybe someday I will see you, with a smile on your face,
hand in hand with somebody new.
Until that day comes I will be here,
I will be your angel in the light that's so clear.
I'll look out for you when you need me the most,
I will always be around, I will not let you down.
I love you know and I always will, and even though your not mine,
my heart holds you still. on earth,
For this is surely it.
_________________

In the silence of the endless night

In the silence of the endless night

Sometimes on your bed my love,
in the silence of the endless night
My limbs go limp with love's intoxication
And by the intensity of ecstatic flight
My mind becomes a swamp in some wilderness
And somewhere close to it
Sleep, like a bird in the wee of winter
Smitten by fears of a hunter's apparition
Threshes about wildly, cries.
In the silence of the endless night!
Sometimes on your bed my love
Desires, trapped inside your cavernous chest
Reel in pain like a slave, endure!

For a moment a thought passes through my mind
That you are not my beloved
But a fair maiden in some city beyond some shore
And I am a soldier of the enemy of your land
Who hasn't spent a night for a long time
to lighten this burden on his soul!
Carrying a desire for endless luxury and pleasure
I am a runaway from my unit for many days now!
This thought passes through my mind
Sometimes on your bed my love
In the silence of the endless night!

_________________

Vengeance

Vengeance

Her face, her features I cannot remember
One bedroom I do recall
A naked body by the fireplace
A carpet on the floor, a bed on the carpet
Statues of metal and stone
in the corners, mocking!
And the crackling of embers in the fireplace
Embittered by the callousness of the statues
Reflections on the tall, clean walls
Reminders of those colonial rulers
whose guns had put down here long ago
the foundation stone of the Imperial rule!

Her face, her features I do not remember
A naked body I still recall
The body of a foreign woman,
my "lips" exacted from whom all night
vengeance for the helplessness of my people
That naked body I still recall!



_________________

Caress of Lips

Caress of Lips


A caress of your colorful luscious lips
And my body is a playground of storms
My life, my act sinfully transformed
My being and my verses are just stories!

A caress of your colorful luscious lips
And then the "long caress"
Which reminds me of the memories of such days
that I have not spent till now
And a place
with whose beauty my sight is not familiar!

How a single maddening caress of your lips
opens a grand pathway for light to pass!
How darkness departs!
How beautiful days to come bloom to life!

A caress of your colorful luscious lips
Which pales the pleasures of quaffs of wine
Colorful fruits, fragrant flowers but illusions of mind
Flame's passion and moth's obsession, a tale
Songs of stars without music or rhyme
The tempest of youth, a worthless whine!

With a single maddening caress of your luscious lips
has spread everywhere
the infinite light of moonlit nights
The endless bounty of intoxication's delight
In the moonlight, beneath the shade of a "vine"
I stand
To give away my life, I reach out my hand!

My being is weak, doomed to demise
Every branch of the "vine" is stretched across the skies!
Unmoved by the coming of autumn or death
In front of which my world is a myth
My body and soul in front of its vastness
prone to dissolution, writhe

Yes, but at least this is true
Having ruined my world have sprung in a distance
Other worlds beyond time and existence
Of which you are the princess and I am your knight!
A caress of your colorful luscious lips
With which my kingdom is radiant
Till the end of time is vibrant!



_________________

Dizzy with emotion

Dizzy with emotion,
I grab hold of your hand.
Sinking on you to lead the way
-it seems I've ignored this fork before-

"it's like teaching the blind,
love."

Whirlwind; for how can I give a name
to an alien emotion never felt?
All I remember is a prick;
or a pierce.

"empty words reflect,
incited with meaning."

You can smile now, love
and my eyes can finally float
to slumber.

I was guilty of searching for
cliched meanings.
Now can embrace truth,
cloaked with love.



_________________

When we two are parted

When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted,
After long years,
How should I greet thee?
With silence and tears.

When we two are parted

The Lover's Quarrel

The Lover's Quarrel

For many years we’ve lived and loved,
Our lives a rich delight.
Then one day’s events caused us to clash,
And the friction led to a fight.

You think that words can’t do a lot,
But words are not inert.
Words have the power to sooth and calm,
But can also cut and hurt.

If thoughts are kept within your head,
They can be dealt with by you alone.
But once the words are past your lips,
They’re like a monument carved in stone.

So always take the time to think,
Of the hurt that can take place,
Whenever a thought is hastily said,
To cause someone loss of face.

It’s hard work to tear the monument down,
To make the hurtful words lose their power.
It’s so much better not to speak the thought,
And just complain to yourself for an hour.



_________________

Waiting....

Waiting....

Wanting,
lusting,
to be held,
to be loved,
to feel warmth,
to feel your beating heart.
Wanting to be sheltered from the cold,
heartless winds.
Falling into invisible arms;
into an abyss of love.
Wishing,
hoping,
that my desires will be filled;
my desires of loving warmth.
Wanting to be held,
comforted,
loved.
Dreaming of passionate embraces,
of tender kisses,
loving words,
romantic nights.
Waiting for undying love.



_________________

your eyes

your eyes

When I look at your eyes, I see your true self.
I see you're sweet, and caring.
I see you're giving and forgiving.
I see your love for me.

When I look at your eyes I stop myself from crying
When I'm alone and think about your eyes I cry.
I can't stop thinking that one day I'll never see those eyes again
That I'll never see the love or the sweetness
Or the love that makes you who you are.
One day you'll be gone - gone from me.
Gone from this world.
No matter what happens, those eyes will one day close
And forever rest in peace.

But you'll never be completely gone,
Because every time I close my eyes,
There you will be.



_________________