The Lie

The Lie

Woke up this morning
Trying hard to hide my melancholy
I joined you for breakfast
And we continued our lie

Every day it is similar
You are cheery
And so am I
Our terrible lie

Can you imagine a time
When we awoke and did not speak
Realizing our moods would cause tension
Tension caused by too little life?

I do wish sometimes
As I leave for work sullenly
Dreading the day already
Weeping far within

The lie, terrible and unending
Would cease to be
And I would know the real you
And you the real me

But, the lie drags on for now
For it is not written in the stars
And perhaps it will never be
I am my own companion

The dreaded truth
Gathered in a lifetime
Sentenced for an eternity
Realized too late

_________________

Lost

Lost

Confusion
Anxiety
Anger and
Pain
Despair
Hatred
Isn't it all the same?

Turmoil
Anguish
Pity and Revenge
Spurn
Condemn
When is it going to end?

Loneliness
Heart ache
Must I be disturbed?
Desolate
Forlorn
Will I always be alone?

_________________

These smooth tones

These smooth tones
are filling the room,
trying to damp this
dull ambiance and
coloring it.

Now I have to accompany
myself on the piano,
playing your composition.
I surrender as the melody
fills with spirit, you were
my white hope.

It's drizzling slightly,
maybe you are crying
with me.

For once I do not sing
because
there are no words
that would be worthy
to sufficiently glorify you.

Besides
I just want you to
devote yourself to
these feelings of yours.

A familiar breeze
enfolds me, caressing
your favorite beauty spot,
I feel secure and titillate
because of your presence.

Holding on to your
photograph, I thank you
for this experience as
the wind carries a
forget-me-not
through the window.

With the end
of this composition
I bid my final farewell.

_________________

Darkness

Darkness

If only it were so simple,
to cruise through life smelling roses;
but the obstacles blacken the countryside,
and we unwittingly crush them beneath our boots.

Dreams sustain us through the madness;
goals give a finish line to our race.
Yet they change with every turn, around every wall,
and remain elusive throughout the quest.

Mistakes are made, and regrets are our luggage;
we will drag them with us to slow us down.
The victories are flashes of light, sudden and unlasting, which allow us
to glimpse the road ahead before darkness descends.

Love is bitter, yet it is the bread that keeps us.
Over and over it fills us up, only to starve us.
The people whom we love shape our destinies and our strengths,
yet leave us cold and alone in the darkness.

There are others trying to race to the end;
occasionally, we bump into one or two.
The bonds we form help us down the path less lonely
but eventually, we lose each other in the darkness.

Alone is not a bad way to be;
it clears your head and focuses you on the journey.
Cherish the short intervals during the quest you have with others,
but be prepared to walk alone in the darkness.

_________________

The day i died inside

The day i died inside ...

The silent car ride,
The tearful eyes
The day I finally died inside.

The blood soaked wrist
And the glistening knife
Were the things that
Should have ended my life.

They rushed me off
To the hospital that night
A place for people
Who lived in fright

The horrific white walls
The tensions cold air
The children crying out
In their pain and wear

The dark room
My roommate and I kept
Was the one that haunted me
Every night when I slept.

The blood that was drawn
I still painfully lack
It haunts me these days
To ever look back.

Ten therapy sessions
Each day and night
So overwhelming
I wanted to fight.

The bolted windows
The locked doors
The imprisoned children
In the psychiatric ward

Letters from loved ones
Saying I love you so much
Them saying they need me
And miss me and such

I open the closet
In the bedroom
So plain
The door filled with
Carvings and drawings
And names

A phrase carved into
That old wooden door
It read Kelly died here
And I could not ignore

To this day I wonder
If that Kelly is alright
If she has fun with friends
Or has sleepless nights

I remember that day
With the glistening knife
The blood soaked wrist
And the horrible life

I still walk on
With my head held high
As I think of the
Day I died inside

_________________

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose or topaz

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

that this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
_________________

He Wishes For The Cloths Of Heaven

He Wishes For The Cloths Of Heaven

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams

i'm not yours

i'm not yours

I am not yours, not lost in you,
Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.

You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who long to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.

Oh plunge me deep in love -- put out
My senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.
_________________

Tourtures

Tourtures

Nothing has changed.
The body is susceptible to pain,
it must eat and breathe air and sleep,
it has thin skin and blood right underneath,
an adequate stock of teeth and nails,
its bones are breakable, its joints are stretchable.
In tortures all this is taken into account.

Nothing has changed.
The body shudders as it shuddered
before the founding of Rome and after,
in the twentieth century before and after Christ.
Tortures are as they were, it's just the earth that's grown smaller,
and whatever happens seems right on the other side of the wall.

Nothing has changed. It's just that there are more people,
besides the old offenses new ones have appeared,
real, imaginary, temporary, and none,
but the howl with which the body responds to them,
was, is and ever will be a howl of innocence
according to the time-honored scale and tonality.

Nothing has changed. Maybe just the manners, ceremonies, dances.
Yet the movement of the hands in protecting the head is the same.
The body writhes, jerks and tries to pull away,
its legs give out, it falls, the knees fly up,
it turns blue, swells, salivates and bleeds.

Nothing has changed. Except for the course of boundaries,
the line of forests, coasts, deserts and glaciers.
Amid these landscapes traipses the soul,
disappears, comes back, draws nearer, moves away,
alien to itself, elusive, at times certain, at others uncertain of its own existence,
while the body is and is and is
and has no place of its own.
_________________

A dream within the dream

A dream within the dream

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow--
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

_________________

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

_________________

I want you to know one thing

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine

_________________

When we two parted In silence and tears

When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted,
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning
Sank chill on my brow
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame:
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o'er me
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well:
Long, long shall I rue thee
Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met
In silence I grieve
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?
With silence and tears.

When we two are parted

_________________

Long-felt desires

Long-felt desires

Long-felt desires, hopes as long as vain--
sad sighs--slow tears accustomed to run sad
into as many rivers as two eyes could add,
pouring like fountains, endless as the rain--
cruelty beyond humanity, a pain
so hard it makes compassionate stars go mad
with pity: these are the first passions I've had.
Do you think love could root in my soul again?
If it arched the great bow back again at me,
licked me again with fire, and stabbed me deep
with the violent worst, as awful as before,
the wounds that cut me everwhere would keep
me shielded, so there would be no place free
for love. It covers me. It can pierce no more.

It Isn't There

It Isn't There

I just don't know what to do
Why am I still inlove with you?
I know you don't love me
And that's the way it should be
She loves you, and you love her
Funny to think that's the way we were
So much love used to be there
Then, somehow, it vanished into thin air

How can I get over you?
Then love other people too
I hurt so much
Just knowing we're so out of touch
It hurts to know you don't care for me
And it can't be the way it used to be
I want you back
But she has all the qualities you love and I lack
I hope you two are happy together
Since it can't be us....
Together Forever

_________________

Quiet Emotions

Quiet Emotions

I always wanted more from you
than you were willing to give;
So now we've gone our separate ways
each with different lives to live.

The bond will always be there
the friendship always intact;
But the time for us has come and gone
and the pages of time, you can't turn back.

I will always be a friend to you
and wonder how you are;
The smiles and laughter I will remember
and our fights have become painless scars.

Sometimes on those busy days
when you've a thousand things to do;
Please let me glide slowly through your mind
and spend some time with you.

In that quiet moment
when you're surprised to find me there;
Just remember even with the distance between us
I am still someone who cares.



_________________

Goodbye

Goodbye

Well maybe now I should just say goodbye
You used to be my friend
But I never felt I really was yours
So maybe this is the end.
I'm different from you, all of you
Each other we've never understood
I hope that if I do tell you goodbye
That it won't be for good.
Whenever I'm mad it hurts me so bad
And you don't even care
I don't know why, I just want to cry
And someday I won't be there.
The streaks on my arm they've done me no harm
They're only made of pen
But once they are blood that turns brown like mud
They'll be there again and again.
If I'm mad at you I'll hurt myself too
But that doesn't really matter
Although when I hurt I feel like dirt
And my spirit's bruised and battered.
I do not know why it has to be so
I really wish it did not
But the way this has been going
it is basically shot.
You don't need me and we don't need we
And that's how I think I know why
These words are the ones I have to speak-
I love you, but goodbye



_________________

For Just A Taste Of You

For Just A Taste Of You

I need to take you in my strong arms
let me hold you oh so close and tight
our sighs rising high into the heavens
rocking wrapped up in sweet delight

You know I'll never ever let you go
I yearn to kiss your lush warm lips
till we melt blissful in love's wild fire
in a dance eternal, joined at the hip

I want you to know my heart's pure voice
hear me pour out my feelings for you
to shout them at the boundless sky
so strong, so deep, so clear so true

love's feast calls us to this moment
no reason needed, for what we do
I have a gnawing hunger in my soul
always aching for just a taste of you

_________________

I dream of distant lands of where we can be free

I dream of distant lands of where we can be free
Let us escape from the harshness and disappointments of life
And together create for ourselves a paradise
Whether it be sitting under a mango tree in India
Sitting on a bench in central park
Floating on the river Thames or braving the jungles of deepest darkest Africa
Promise you will go there with me, promise you will go everywhere with me
Fly away with me, help me to touch the stars
We will ponder nature and question why the leaves fall
Like rain after it has gone promises a new beginning
So shall be my promise to you
Let me look at myself through your eyes
Make me understand the ability you possess to see the best in me
Let me call you darling and hold your hand
Share secrets with my soul not even I know
Continue to inspire me with your stories and words
Teach me all you know until I know nothing else
We are from two different worlds you and I
But are souls are the same lost along the way when God was deciding where we should go
Let it be said my heart and mind are not my own and never were
For I had yours and you had mind
To celebrate such a long awaited reunion fills me with bliss
I dream of the day when I can touch your face outside of a dream
When you can read my thoughts through my eyes and see no lies
For now I know true happiness I cannot go back to before
I can not go back to a hopeless and faithless existence
Do not bestow on me such a sentence, I ache at the thought
You make me feel alive, read my words and know it is because of you
Look what you have done look at what you do
Every part of me loves you

_________________

Late-night Talk

Late-night Talk

His name came up
On the caller ID
At exactly
Eleven fory-three.

I answer it
In my cheery fashion
For our late-night talks
Were always my passion.

But his voice told me
That something was wrong
Like a horror movie's
Foreshadowing song.

As he took a deep breath
And told me the phrase
"We need to talk"
I was put in a daze.

"We have a connection
And get along fine
There's nothing you've done
The problem is mine.

"You understand don't you?
Are you still there?"
I tried to answer
As I felt my heart tear.

"We're gonna stay friends,
We'll talk every day.
Sabi, do you have
Anything to say?"

A thousand thoughts were
Ready to spill
But my mouth wouldn't talk
As my eyes began to fill.

Thoughts raced through my head
Old memories played
The thought of being alone
Made me feel so afraid.

"I'm not expecting you
To understand.
You're a sophmore,
Life holds different demands.

"Still one day
When your life is SAT's
College applications
And activities,

"You'll realize why
I made this choice.
Talk to me, Sabi
Do you have a voice?"

I would if I hadn't
Hung up so quick
To comfort myself,
I was feeling quite sick.

So then this is it,
This is the end.
What more can I say then?
I'll miss you my friend.

_________________

Missing You

Missing You

No words I write can ever say,
How much I miss you every day.
As time goes by the loneliness grows,
How I miss you... nobody knows.
I think of you in silence,
I often speak your name.
But all I have are memories,
And a photo in a frame.
No one knows my sorrow,
No one sees me weep.
But the love I have for you,
Is in my heart and mine to keep.
I never stopped loving you,
I don't think I ever will.
Deep inside my heart,
You are with me still.
Heartaches in this world are many,
But mine is worse than any.
My heart still aches as I whisper low,
"I need you... and miss you so."
The things we feel so deeply,
Are often the hardest things to say.
But I just can't keep quiet anymore,
So I'll tell you anyway.
There is a place in my heart,
That no one else can fill.
I love you... and I always will.

_________________

Something’s never change

Something’s never change,
Even when things get old,
There still exist the little things,
the lies and deceit.

Broken hearts and truth never told,
yearning for a kiss and someone to hold,
something’s never change.

Wanting to be your one and only,
At times you left me cold and lonely,
There still exist the little things,
the lies and deceit.

But today is a new day,
Nobody to blame,
Something’s never change.

But starting from tomorrow,
I'll spread a clean sheet over my heart,
There still exist the little things,
the lies and deceit.

I will cry no more,
Beginning my new life and opening another door,
Something’s never change,
There still exist the little things,
the lies and deceit.



_________________

Forget his name, forget his face

Forget his name, forget his face,
Forget his kiss and warm embrace.
Forget the time you spent together.
Forget it all he is gone forever.

Forget the fact that he once cared,
Forget the love that he once shared.
Forget his love that once was true,
Remember now there is someone new.

Forget you cried all night long,
Forget him when they play your song.
Forget how close you once were.
Remember how he chose her.

Forget you memorized the way he walked.
Forget the way that he talked.
Forget the times he made you mad.
Remember how he made you feel so sad.

Forget the thrills when he said, Hi!
Forget the times he made you cry.
Forget the way he said your name.
Remember now he is not the same.

Forget you saw him yesterday.
Forget his gentle and teasing way.
Forget the things you had planned to do.
Remember now he is not with you.

Forget the times that went so fast.
Forget it all it is in the past.
Forget he said, I'll leave you never.
Remember now he is gone forever.

Forget the past that I once knew.
Forget it all leave it too.
Cause he no longer loves me...
..He loves you...

_________________

still remember that brisk and cool day

still remember that brisk and cool day,
that day we met and my fears were driven away.
Your perfect smile, your joyous laugh,
the way your eyes lit up when we talked about the past.
We would sit and talk for hours on end
about our secrets and our future plans.
Our friendship started to grow much more.
It became a feeling so strong we could not ignore.
You told me, it would be for the best, just wait and see.
Fate. You said, has brought you to me.
We believed those words, we thought they were true,
but I guess they weren't because now we are through.
Now your gone and now I see that it was all because of me.
I hurt so many, yet cared so much,
about the wrong person and felt the wrong touch.
I played a game with two hearts,
I thought I was strong, I'd never be torn apart.
I hope you forgive and I hope that you see,
those feelings I have are smothered inside of me.
Someday soon I hope you will find a love that will last you all of time.
You deserve the best in everything you do.
Maybe someday I will see you, with a smile on your face,
hand in hand with somebody new.
Until that day comes I will be here,
I will be your angel in the light that's so clear.
I'll look out for you when you need me the most,
I will always be around, I will not let you down.
I love you know and I always will, and even though your not mine,
my heart holds you still. on earth,
For this is surely it.
_________________

In the silence of the endless night

In the silence of the endless night

Sometimes on your bed my love,
in the silence of the endless night
My limbs go limp with love's intoxication
And by the intensity of ecstatic flight
My mind becomes a swamp in some wilderness
And somewhere close to it
Sleep, like a bird in the wee of winter
Smitten by fears of a hunter's apparition
Threshes about wildly, cries.
In the silence of the endless night!
Sometimes on your bed my love
Desires, trapped inside your cavernous chest
Reel in pain like a slave, endure!

For a moment a thought passes through my mind
That you are not my beloved
But a fair maiden in some city beyond some shore
And I am a soldier of the enemy of your land
Who hasn't spent a night for a long time
to lighten this burden on his soul!
Carrying a desire for endless luxury and pleasure
I am a runaway from my unit for many days now!
This thought passes through my mind
Sometimes on your bed my love
In the silence of the endless night!

_________________

Vengeance

Vengeance

Her face, her features I cannot remember
One bedroom I do recall
A naked body by the fireplace
A carpet on the floor, a bed on the carpet
Statues of metal and stone
in the corners, mocking!
And the crackling of embers in the fireplace
Embittered by the callousness of the statues
Reflections on the tall, clean walls
Reminders of those colonial rulers
whose guns had put down here long ago
the foundation stone of the Imperial rule!

Her face, her features I do not remember
A naked body I still recall
The body of a foreign woman,
my "lips" exacted from whom all night
vengeance for the helplessness of my people
That naked body I still recall!



_________________

Caress of Lips

Caress of Lips


A caress of your colorful luscious lips
And my body is a playground of storms
My life, my act sinfully transformed
My being and my verses are just stories!

A caress of your colorful luscious lips
And then the "long caress"
Which reminds me of the memories of such days
that I have not spent till now
And a place
with whose beauty my sight is not familiar!

How a single maddening caress of your lips
opens a grand pathway for light to pass!
How darkness departs!
How beautiful days to come bloom to life!

A caress of your colorful luscious lips
Which pales the pleasures of quaffs of wine
Colorful fruits, fragrant flowers but illusions of mind
Flame's passion and moth's obsession, a tale
Songs of stars without music or rhyme
The tempest of youth, a worthless whine!

With a single maddening caress of your luscious lips
has spread everywhere
the infinite light of moonlit nights
The endless bounty of intoxication's delight
In the moonlight, beneath the shade of a "vine"
I stand
To give away my life, I reach out my hand!

My being is weak, doomed to demise
Every branch of the "vine" is stretched across the skies!
Unmoved by the coming of autumn or death
In front of which my world is a myth
My body and soul in front of its vastness
prone to dissolution, writhe

Yes, but at least this is true
Having ruined my world have sprung in a distance
Other worlds beyond time and existence
Of which you are the princess and I am your knight!
A caress of your colorful luscious lips
With which my kingdom is radiant
Till the end of time is vibrant!



_________________

Dizzy with emotion

Dizzy with emotion,
I grab hold of your hand.
Sinking on you to lead the way
-it seems I've ignored this fork before-

"it's like teaching the blind,
love."

Whirlwind; for how can I give a name
to an alien emotion never felt?
All I remember is a prick;
or a pierce.

"empty words reflect,
incited with meaning."

You can smile now, love
and my eyes can finally float
to slumber.

I was guilty of searching for
cliched meanings.
Now can embrace truth,
cloaked with love.



_________________

When we two are parted

When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted,
After long years,
How should I greet thee?
With silence and tears.

When we two are parted

The Lover's Quarrel

The Lover's Quarrel

For many years we’ve lived and loved,
Our lives a rich delight.
Then one day’s events caused us to clash,
And the friction led to a fight.

You think that words can’t do a lot,
But words are not inert.
Words have the power to sooth and calm,
But can also cut and hurt.

If thoughts are kept within your head,
They can be dealt with by you alone.
But once the words are past your lips,
They’re like a monument carved in stone.

So always take the time to think,
Of the hurt that can take place,
Whenever a thought is hastily said,
To cause someone loss of face.

It’s hard work to tear the monument down,
To make the hurtful words lose their power.
It’s so much better not to speak the thought,
And just complain to yourself for an hour.



_________________

Waiting....

Waiting....

Wanting,
lusting,
to be held,
to be loved,
to feel warmth,
to feel your beating heart.
Wanting to be sheltered from the cold,
heartless winds.
Falling into invisible arms;
into an abyss of love.
Wishing,
hoping,
that my desires will be filled;
my desires of loving warmth.
Wanting to be held,
comforted,
loved.
Dreaming of passionate embraces,
of tender kisses,
loving words,
romantic nights.
Waiting for undying love.



_________________

your eyes

your eyes

When I look at your eyes, I see your true self.
I see you're sweet, and caring.
I see you're giving and forgiving.
I see your love for me.

When I look at your eyes I stop myself from crying
When I'm alone and think about your eyes I cry.
I can't stop thinking that one day I'll never see those eyes again
That I'll never see the love or the sweetness
Or the love that makes you who you are.
One day you'll be gone - gone from me.
Gone from this world.
No matter what happens, those eyes will one day close
And forever rest in peace.

But you'll never be completely gone,
Because every time I close my eyes,
There you will be.



_________________

corrupted love

corrupted love

A warm sensation fills my body
My heart races with every touch
The softness of your voice soothes
My soul
As I lay there hoping the moment
Will never end
Calling out for you
Praying that you'll never let me go
The sensation so strong
I can no longer feel my body
Slowly I fade in and out of reality
In an instant the warm sensation
Fades away
My heart empty
My soul torn apart
Lying there; wondering where I went
Wrong
Calling out for you, only to find
there is no answer
My mind invaded with thoughts
So cruel and unrefined
The sensation of fear of what's to come
Slowly the reality over powering
The lust and fantasy
Leaving me empty
Confused on how to think or feel
The loneliness I feel
So wretched and compelled
Betrayal to myself
Revealing the terrors of my love
_________________

Peace Of Mind by Dave

Peace Of Mind by Dave

Have you had cold showers of pain
My friend, you've stood in my rain
Deathly feeling of loneliness
No need to feel shameless
I've been there before
Not wanting to feel any more
Your hearts been broken in half
Mind still living in the past
Cold dark thoughts of suicide
Why don't I do it tonight
Don't worry it will go away
Learn to love another day
Put it in the back of mind
Let it rest and you will find
Dark clouds begin to part
New love will mend the heart
Thoughts of suicide disappear
Self- esteem will reappear
One day you'll be able to say
My friend you've stood in my rain

_________________

ANGELS

ANGELS

I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate ?
And do they know
The places where we go
When we're grey and old ?
'Cos I've been told
That salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I'm lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
And I feel that love is dead
I'm loving angels instead

And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call
She won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead

When I'm feeling weak
And my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know I'll always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows
She breathes flesh to my bones
And when love is dead
I'm loving angels instead

I Remember Home

I Remember Home

Why, I ask, does the earth not shrink to a point?
Why at first, did this wide sky lure the heart?
All around are strange people, strange words:
Some slide over the heart, others pierce it.
On these waving words flows the heart’s vessel,
Which finds no shore.

Whomever I meet I duly greet, smiling, but what lips affirm
In “I know you,” the heart denies with “I don’t.”
I move on those waves
And find no shore.

Why does this earth not shrink to a point?
What a smile, my sister’s smile, my brother laughing,
She delighting in his wordss,
Delighting in our parent’s laughter !
Yet time flows on, the shore a spectacle.
I find no shore.

Why does th earth not shrink to a point?
Perhaps this cycle lies outside of fate; why
Did this wide sky once lure the heart?

The brief life of all things flows on; and I
Watch each one, smiling, laughing,
Weeping.
Watching, I am silent.
I find no shore.

_________________

A Moment Of Truth

A Moment Of Truth

My dear love, I wanted to share
My thoughts, my feelings and
What makes me despair
I want to share with you
What makes me happy; what makes me feel blue..
So you can sense that my love is honest and true.

Every day not a single minute
Passes by without you in it
Your skin, your voice, your body and your touch
All of these moments, I miss them so much.

You are so present, so deep in my heart
And our souls, I just know, will never part,
But circumstance and distance can be so overwhelming
They close doors and create doubt and we start blaming..

There are actions of mine and I know that for sure..
That feel so wrong, though my intentions are pure
They are painful and impossible to bear
And you feel it's all so unfair.

You can't run from yourself;
There is no place to hide
It just hurts you so deep
It hurts your heart and your pride.

Then I worry that if I continue to stay
Will it be wrong and will I be in your way?
I fear that I am not at all what you need
And that this truth will make my heart break and bleed.

Then I sit here and wipe away my tears
Wishing you could kiss away my fears
If only you knew how much€¦.
I miss and need your embrace and your touch

I know I can't hide from my thoughts and my fear
And I know at these times I don't seem near
But you break down these walls
With the strength of your love
And then I feel blessed
From God above!

My love for you runs so deep through my vein
That I dream of you, in spite of the pain.

_________________

The angel lost her grace

The angel lost her grace,
As mascara ran down her face.
She forgot love, remembered hate.
She no longer had her faith.

With tear stained cheeks,
Through blood shot eyes,
She saw only pain and suffer.
Love, she couldn't conquer.

As the blue sky faded to black,
Darkness filled her heart.
Her wings vanished from her back,
And her kindness fell apart.

Even with all her might,
Her dress still went black from white.
She was sent to save,
To help those who weren't brave.

But as she looked around,
At the marks she left...
Tear stained cheeks,
And blood shot eyes.

He'll Never Know

He'll Never Know

I want to run, I want to hide.
From all the pain he caused inside.
I want to scream, I want to cry.
Why can't I tell him Goodbye?

I want to move on, I just can't let go.
I love him more than he will ever know.
I want to start over, I want to feel free!
But this pain will never leave me be.

He hurt me bad, the pain is deep.
From all the promises he couldn't keep.
All the lies, I heard him say.
Are in my head and just won't fade.

How can I forget him, leave the him behind.
Erase the memories from my mind.
He doesn't love me, and he never will.
He will never care, how I feel.

_________________

You Cheated

You Cheated......

Why can't you love me the way you should ?
I know you could...
Instead my heartache is what your choosing...
It's me that you are loosing...
I hate what you've done to me,
I was all that you ever wanted me to be,
I'm not blind, I can see..
I see your game,
I'm not insane, you are hurting me...
After everything I have done for you,
everything I gave you, you turn around and cheat?
All the times and memories we have spent together you even said we'd be forever..
The bond we share,
I never thought you would dare,
dare to hurt me this way,
all the lies you say...
You made me sick,
she is what you want to pick...
You made me cry while you told a lie,
you made me want to die...
How could this be your not here with me?
You are not that man I thought you were,
now I know, now I'm sure..."Never hurt you",
is what you said,
now I know your not a man of your word...
Made me feel crazy when I asked "why your phone was off",
yet I knew you were hurting me,
I knew I was right, you were out of my sight,
you really ruined my life...
How could you ask me to forgive you?
How many times can I? You have lost my trust over what I call lust...
You chose to hurt me it was a must...
I am beautiful so I have to be brave,
brave enough to move on,
I will be strong, without you,
my life won't be wrong..
I will forget you in time,
and no, no it's not fine...
I'm glad that your not mine...
You use to be my greatest treasure but now your never...
I hope your happy for what you did to me,
right now your blind but soon you will see....

_________________

Hints of Heaven, hints of Hell

Hints of Heaven, hints of Hell,
As the year turns again.
Perhaps with you all is well,
Perhaps you are in constant pain.
Years come and go, millennia --
Nothing changes in the heart.
Each revolution's trivia;
We play new clad the same old part.
Years come and go, each as bad,
Each as good as those before,
As full of joy, as cruel, as sad,
Returning as we hope once more.

How sad, the year just passed! A year the past

How sad, the year just passed! A year the past
Arose like smoke from deep beneath the rubble,
Pouring up through fissures in the heart,
Perhaps our own as much as those of others.
Year of hatred writhing in raw pain,
Near mad with certainty arrayed in faith,
Each aggrieved alight with righteous anger,
Whirlwinds swirling through their swathes of rage.
Yet let us in the new year look for justice,
Ever the rock on which to live in peace,
Administered with love for every soul,
Regarding every evil as our own.

Everything happens for a reason

Everything happens for a reason,
That is what we say.
And I want to keep believing,
But why do I feel this way?

My destiny is already set.
God has already made my fate.
That is why I live without regret.
So why do I feel this way?

We say that if it's meant to be.
Then in time we will see.
But why wait for eventually,
When we know our destiny.

You told me that you are afraid.
"What if it is just another feeling"?
I would hate for you to feel betrayed.
In something that is just another fling.

What if I said to you,
That I was a little afraid too.
Of loosing something so beautiful.

_________________

Death

Death

Death stole my only love,
It didn't let me say goodbye.
So in this world that killed you,
I sit alone and cry.
A pointless event, that often does occur,
It stole my only love
I say for death there is no cure.
Your big brown eyes I still so often see.
But now you're gone and all that's left is me.
But I will not abandon hope,
I will endure this pain,
I will survive in this cruel world,
Alone and full of vain.
So when I leave this filthy place
With enemies and hate,
I will unite with you my love

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."

The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.

To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.

What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.

That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.

As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.

The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.

I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.

Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she once
belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.

Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.



_________________

A Puzzle Of A Broken Heart

A Puzzle Of A Broken Heart

My heart is like a Whhore
For I've given it to many men.
Without questions, without expectations;
With only one exception:
The only thing I've ever asked for;
The only thing I've ever expected
Was for their love in return.
But without exception, without fail
Each one took my heart,
Crumpled it up, and threw it away.
Like my love was worthless, a simple piece of trash;
Something that was easily and frequently discarded.
So now pieces of my heart are floating around,
Like pieces of paper tumbling in the wind
And I have to gather them up.
But some of them will be lost forever;
Some of them I'll never be able to find again.
But those pieces that I do regain,
I will try to put back together with what remains
So my fragmented heart will once again be whole.
For now I realize that it isn't worthless
My love is valuable, priceless
And I'm saving it for someone who will treasure it;
Who will treat it like a special gift
That I've given to him and no one else.
And I hope that he will forgive me
For the pieces that I gave away before.

Sorrow Of Goodbye !!!

Sorrow Of Goodbye !!!

Never has there been a time
In my entire life,

That I've felt such agony
Pain, delusion, strife.

Nor have I ever cared so much
'Bout anything or one,

And take the burden upon myself
To help someone be done.

I'm learning what's important
I know what I can't do,

What I really care about
Is the happiness of you.

I can't make you as happy
As I know you need to be,

Your happiness seems so natural
When you're not with me.

I don't feel so upbeat
When we are apart,

Though knowing you are happy
Gives pleasure to my heart.

Giving you up is rough for me
I care for you so much,

I'll always miss your graciousness
Your demeanor and your touch.

I wish I could have done for you
What you've done for me,

I think that I can do it now
Your freedom sets me free.

The hurt that I feel deep inside
Will never go away,

I'll keep it locked inside myself
And think of you each day.

Tears are streaming down my face
As I know what I must do,

Today I give you back your life
Not for me, but you.

I will carry all the guilt
The suffering and the sorrow,

Knowing you've found what you've sought
And you'll still be there tomorrow.

I've held on till the very end
Held on very tight,

I pray you can forgive me
For things I did not right.

Should things not always go the way
That you expect them to,

Please always remember
There's a friend out there for you.

I still love you very much
And will until I die,

For you I'll do this one last thing
I will say...Goodbye



_________________

Somewhere in my dreams tonight

In My Mind

Somewhere in my dreams tonight
I'll see you standing there
You look at me with a smile
"Life isn't always fair"

You say you were chosen for his garden
His preciously hand picked bouquet
"God really needed me,
That's why I couldn't stay"

It's said to be that angels
Are sent from above
I've always had my angel
My love - whose heart was filled with love

Wherever the ocean meets the sky
There will be memories of you and I
When I look up at that sky so blue
All I see are visions of you

"While there's a heart in me, you'll be a part of me."

Don't Quit!

Don't Quit!


When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.


Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
when he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.


Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worse, that...

You Must Not Quit.
_________________

Within You Is The Strength To Meet Life's Challenges

Within You Is The Strength
To Meet Life's Challenges !


You are stronger than you think,
remember to stand tall.

Every challenge in your life
helps you to grow.

Every problem you encounter
strengthens your mind and your soul.

Every trouble you overcome
increases your understanding of life.

When all your troubles weigh
heavily on your shoulders,
remember that beneath the burden
you can stand tall,
because you are never given
more than you can handle...
and you are stronger than you think