I feel so empty

I feel so empty
Utterly alone and lost
Feelings of despair and forlorn
My heart can't possibly be more torn

With each passing second
And each single beat
I am losing the old battle
Hiding muffled screams

Your hold gets stronger
Day by day, week by week
Until I hit rock bottom
To be the victim your memory seeks

I have been fighting this
For longer than was necessary
I try to move on and forget
Walk away from the misery

But you're tucked away
In the deepest corners of my heart
Each beat just brings me closer
Right back to the start

I want to forget you completely
To the point of not knowing your name
It hurts too much to know that
I can't be with you, its life's cruel game.

I've tried forgetting you
Tried to hate you
But it's hard to ignore you
From my mind, you're never gone.

I could probably forget you
If the sun rose from the west
I would stop thinking about you
If I could stop breathing and let it rest

So it always has been
Could've, would've, should've
I keep hoping to gain your attention
Hoping it would be my heart's healing salve

Just for once I want to be loved,
Cherished by a boy
And have him in my life as
Someone I could trust

I want to erase your memories
Imprint over the past
With him by my side
I hope my heart would last

Just to have him love me
And take away the pain
Acceptance and understanding
I'd give anything to keep me sane.

Wishing he would enter my life
Any second, any day now
I've waited too long
I just want to get rid of you somehow

I keep wishing for a miracle
Every morning, every day
In the end, I try not to be discouraged
For tomorrow could destroy the pain, be my day

It's frustrating to know
You're the reason for my constant sorrow
In the back of my mind, in my heart
Your memory will always be a shadow

Anything from your eyes to your smile
Entrances me and weakens my resolve
Maybe because inside my heart
You always did and always will live on.