I sit alone In a dark room

I sit alone
In a dark room
The thoughts of you come and go
One minute I see your face
The next minute I see the darkness
The laughter in your voice surrounds me
The quietness of the room then frightens me
The beat of your heart matches mine
The single beat of mine saddens me
I sit here alone
Trying to think
What to do without a guiding light
As I draw into myself I lose the outside world
As I gather the thoughts, I lose the words
The feelings I feel are too real to explain
How do I share the story of my pain?
How do I look into the eyes of the lord?
What do I answer him when he questions my love?
What do I tell him why the soul is not one?
Can I explain to him what my soul now feels?
Can I tell him he is the one to blame?
Giving me a gift then giving me the pain?
Can I point the finger?
Can I pass on the blame?
That I try but cannot do
I forgot that he only gives to test me
The strength I hold within myself.
I received his gift but I must now admit
My soul is too weak and my strength not enough
For I could not keep his gift
There for I sit alone
The darkness still grows
Please lord give me the light so I can free my soul.