If I suddenly decided to leave and not look back

If I suddenly decided to leave and not look back
How would that affect us and what we had?

How would it make you feel?
If after all these year of being there, I decided to leave?

Would it matter if I said I still want you?
Would you believe that I need you to make it through?

Shutting my eyes won't alter this cruel reality
I just wish I knew another way to end this misery

Because thinking of you always brings up old memories
And I can't think of anything worse so I deem my life; a tragedy

Other's ask me why I hold on, what I see in you
I just shrug because quiet frankly even I don't know the truth

But wait a minute; I shouldn't have to justify my affections for you
The love kind of loses its purpose if I have to define its value

I am sorry I can't just erase the years of my life
Even though long ago you slayed my heart with a knife

Yeah, call me stupid, insane or just plain obsessed
I just think you're afraid of letting me in; my feelings are just too intense

I don't know why you're scared of committing
I don't believe the talks of you not being worth it

I gave you my heart and I realize you never asked for it
Fine I may have been naïve before but now it's much more; just admit

I change the topics around my friends if you’re the subject
I can't have them know that I lied and my life is far from perfect.

I try to be strong when I see you each and every day
When all my emotions are packed in a single moment where our eyes cross their way

Still I guard my heart from everyone along with the tears and pain
I gotta admit I've gotten better at it, doing it again and again

But today I'll have you know that not everything you see is true
All the happiness is just an illusion, something only you can view

I know all that I go through is my own doing
Since I've always hid the truth from you to protect you from suffering

I don't want you to go through what I go through every day
It's not as easy to be dying inside but still act like everything is okay.