No matter what I decide

No matter what I decide
Certain things I can't forget
Sometimes I can't help it though
The past, I can't let go yet

I've fought with myself over the years
To tell you the truth, I've never won
I didn't ever give up pretending though
And sadly helpessness became my friend

Hm, everything was meant to happen
It was my "destiny," my "fate"…
There is no answer to "why me?"
Indecisiveness is what I'm starting to hate

It's not meant to be a test of strength
And it's hardly ever easy to ignore
But I am learning to live with it
To get over it, there is no cure

Now I've stopped hating myself
And erased the word weak from my dictionary
I accepted life, accepted my feelings
Hoping it will set me free…